OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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