I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize