Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just pee around me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
