Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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