So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my sisters under your porch take her home
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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