I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize