His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
