My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
