Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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