Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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