So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
