so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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