Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
