No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
