All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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