I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
