I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
