I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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