I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
