I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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