only you would photoshop your dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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