Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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