Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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