i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
