You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
