just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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