RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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