is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
