I love black thongs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
