Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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