you guys were way drunker than both of me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i love accidental penises.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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