So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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