Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
