a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
is it fun? or sober?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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