So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
