youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
