we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
