yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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