Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize