I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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