And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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