i would punch a child for taco bell
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize