sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
