4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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