Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize