alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize