At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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