do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
