I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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