THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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