We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
