if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
