I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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