Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
