Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
