My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize