Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
