remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
