i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
