Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize