She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
