i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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