She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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