I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
