IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
how drunk are you?
Several
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
