I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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