everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
