dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
