sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I will pee on everything he values.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
